


I might be that guy (I might be that guy)

by orphan_account



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 1987), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles Forever (2009)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Cute, Dimension Travel, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, M/M, Matchmaking, Polyamory, Self-cest, Sibling Incest, Time Travel, Turtles, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 22:32:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Turtles Foreversend-up. Raph and Mike think this dimension could use some help. And a little more pizza! Mikey kind of agrees.





	I might be that guy (I might be that guy)

**Author's Note:**

> So, the names. Mike and Mikey just chose. They’d both always wanted to try swapping. Raph and Raphael were picked by Leo and Leonardo. Leo and Leonardo tried to just choose, but instead they were too polite to be honest about their choices and each got the name the other wanted. Donatello and Donatello told everyone they should be smart enough to figure it out by context.
> 
> Title from Dallas Hill.

_2005_

“Wow, what a hard case.” Mike said turning wide eyes back on him and Mikey shook his head, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. Behind him he could still hear Raphael berating Donatello for ruining his fun.

“Bro, I could tell you stories.” Mikey told him, solemn, and anything that could make this version of himself-the one that’s built like Kraang's suit- sound like that- look like that-

For it to be _Raphael_.

_His_ Raphael.

___

“So, you guys...”

“Who?” Raphael said shortly. He’d agreed to let Raph spot him, after some amount of wheedling. Raph had left that part to ‘Mike’. He didn’t do _pussyfooting_.

“You and Mikey.” He said, the tone of his voice implying a lack of faith in this ‘Ra-fee-el’. Mikey and ‘Mike’. Yeesh. He wasn’t getting used to that anytime soon. Back home only Leo called his brother Mike and only when he was mad.

“What about the little twerp?” Raphael said, sweat breaking across his brow, after his oh say, _millionth_ rep. This kid probably didn’t even know what pizza _smelled like_. Too many carbs.

“He doesn’t look so little to me.” Raph said blandly, helping to lift the bar up to the rack as the big guy sat up, looking frustrated. All these turtles were big, and Raph could admit he found something appealing about a Michelangelo taller than him. And, it was nuts that it didn’t make him _any harder to noogie_. Astonishing. Truly.

Maybe it was something he’d said, but Raphael was giving him the eye as he laid back on the bench. When he tried to hand him down the bar, however, Raphael waved him off. Yeesh. This guy sure was a different breed. More crab than turtle.

Now, he was kind of in the mood for sashimi pizza.

“Whadda ‘bout him?” He said, lifting the bar on his own.

“Nothing.” Raph said. “That mostly answered my question.”

___

The lair wasn’t really made for eight teenaged turtles.

_Really_.

Still, Mikey thought they were making it work. Donatello and Donatello ( ~~Hurt in an accident? Call our law firm now!~~ ) were sharing space in the lab like they’d been programmed. Maybe they had been, programmed each other, double nerd-icide. Mikey wouldn‘t know, he’d hardly seen them since they’d holed up in there. Normally, Master S would have totally yanked him out by now, but with two of them, you couldn’t really call it anti-social.

Leo and Leonardo were meditating. No big surprise. He and Mike had been tossing around a game controller all afternoon, at Mike’s request. Apparently his Splinter was more lax, and he had a way neater set-up. Guess nobody had everything.

It was only Raphael who seemed to be having trouble co-habitating. Even the first night when they’d gone to bunk down-

___

_'Oh, no way.' Raphael tucked his arms tight cross his chest, gripping his plastron defensively. 'Bad enough I hafta share a name with the guy, now you want me to share a bed? What are we? Married?'_

_'You wish. I have better options.' Raph said, and Mike chortled beside him, small green hands on his small green sides. 'I can take the couch. No skin off my nose.'_

_'Raph.' Leo bit out, and then sighed expressively. 'I mean, Raphael.'_

_'I have the bunkbed.' Mikey offered and the grateful look Raph shot him made his heart jump. Dumb. 'You can bunk with us, if you don’t mind a squeeze.'_

_'Oh, I don’t mind.' Raph said nicely, but Mike cackled._

_'You sure Mikey?' Leo asked. 'We put up with Raphael all the time, he can put up with himself for a while.'_

_'Make him be the bigger man.' Donatello said, and Donatello laughed._

_'More than he already is?' Donatello asked wryly._

_'It’s no problem.' Mikey said, Mike warm and attentive by his side. Once he got over how round they were, they were actually pretty cute. 'Really.'_

___

Did _this_ count as a problem? Mikey wasn’t sure.

“Oh, yeah babe, love it when you swing your shell my way-”

“ _Raphie!_ ”

Mikey clutched the edge of his sheet, drawn up to his chin. At least he’d taken the top bunk. If the bed shook like this with them on the bottom-

“Yeah, just like that Mikey- like you’re eating marshmallows-”

He’d laugh if he wasn’t so helplessly turned on. Every few minutes in between the completely nutso dirty talk and _the moaning_ , Raph would churr. Deep enough that Mikey could imagine it was his Raph, rumbling with pleasure just under him.

“ ‘aph,please-”

“Say it, Mikey. C’mon.”

“Nn-”

“ _Mikey_.”

“-hHubblie ‘unnie!”

“You can do better than that!”

‘ _And hey_!’ Mikey thought wildly, rolling over to press the wet, out length of his cock into his cool sheets. ‘ _If he can’t, maybe I can give it a try!_ ’

“...thubby ‘unny!”

“So, so good Mikey.” Raph said, his voice warm and private and Mikey groaned despairingly into his pillow. He never should have let the runts into his room. They didn’t even really deserve his kindness after all those noogies.

A silence fell over the room, and Mikey felt his pulse rise as he realized his mistake.

"You awake?" And then, when he didn't reply. “...You wanna join?”

“Raph!”

Mikey wanted to cry. He reached a hand between his legs, squeezing himself back into the sore confines of his shell.

“What, nothing wrong with asking!”

“Not like that, dude!”

“He was listening-”

“Hard not to with you two going at it like-like-” Mikey stuttered, breaking into their conversation.

“Teenagers?” Raph asked, his head appearing just beside Mikey’s elbow and he shrieked at the sudden appearance. _Too many damn ninjas._

“Aw man, I was right.” Mike said, and he sounded so disappointed down there Mikey gave up and peered over the worn railing at him. His mouth was wet. Gah. “We aren’t a ‘thing’ in this dimension.”

“Well, not yet.” Mikey said defensively, mostly into his hands. And, oh, the silence that followed. Mikey wished he could just leave. They could keep the room, he’d just take the cat. And his board. And his comics.

And-

“I’m sorry, kid.” Raph told him sincerely, and when Mikey looked up at him, he tossed him a wink. “I might be a bozo in this dimension, but I was serious earlier. You wanna join?”

“Wh-Oh.” He felt stunned, but his cock twitched, eager to come back out as Raph bounced his brows at him playfully. “I couldn’t-”

“Yeah, you could.” Mike said knowingly, and Mikey wanted to deny him- _couldn’t deny himself_. Sorta didn’t want to? “It’s not our fault we’re cute in _every_ dimension.”

“This one’s definitely growing on me.” Raph said, and Mikey turned to look at him, head stiff. If his Raph was half this shameless maybe he was safer _alone_. Raph took his hand, and smiled at him, big, open eyes gazing into his own. “C’mon, kid.”

___

He kissed like Cary Grant. Michelangelo’s must swoon in _every_ dimension.  
___

“I’m gonna really miss you guys.” Mikey said, letting Donatello free from his millionth hug. Raph swatted him lightly on the shell.

“Bet you will.” He said. Exchanged a look with Mike, who patted his brother on the arm.

“Aww, you’re gonna miss me too!” Mikey warbled. He and Mike sighed at the same time, dreamy.

“Who’d miss you?” Raphael said, striding up to them. These last couple of days, although nothing but contentious it was like he couldn’t seem to stay away from them. The other dudes thought he was jealous, but Mikey knew better. This wasn’t an evolved enough life form with complex emotions. Raphie was probably just _suspicious_.

That, and there was no way he had anything to be jealous about.

“You know bub, you could use an attitude change.” Raph said coolly.

“Yeah, says who?” Raphael said, stepping up, his arms flexing as his fists clenched.

“A change all around, really.” Raph said, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. “What’re you compensating for with all that muscle, big guy?”

“I’m gonna kill him.” Raphael said, to no one in particular.

“Too small behind the shell?” Raph said softly, then softer still. “Behind your eyes, big guy?”

Donatello laughed sharply from the couch, before Donatello shushed him.

“I don’t like to punch guys smaller than me.” Raphael said fiercely. “I _love it_. Wanna say that again?”

“Hard to hear me up there, huh?” Raph smirked. “You outta treat your brothers better, pal. Just because you think-”

“ _I_ think? Who the _hell_ -”

“Guys.” Mikey said helplessly.

“ _You_. Obviously-”

“-come in ta _my_ world-”

“Look, it’s easy.” Raph said, a sly cant to his brows. “Need me to show ya? I’ll show ya.”

He reached out a hand, grabbing his Michelangelo into a stumbling embrace. One arm around the waist, and it was like something out of a rom-com and Mikey kind of wanted to die. It was also kind of the best moment of his life. The kiss looked _perfect_. Worthy of Bogart himself.

He made himself tear his eyes away after a second, afraid he’d project how much he wanted into his eyes. It already felt like it was all over his face. He didn’t dare to look at Raphael. Leo cleared his throat, and Donatello coughed, but Mike- Mike just _sighed_ , one foot raising, just like in The Princess Diaries.

His eyes fled to Raph’s silent form before he could help himself.

And there on his dumb, stupid, _wonderful_ face was all the want and longing Mikey had been trying so hard to hide.

“Thought so.” Donatello told Leonardo. They exchange a few bills green enough to be monopoly money in their world, as the other two separated staring at each other.

“Uh...okay.” Leo said. “Well-until next time you guys.”

“Or never.” Leonardo said feelingly, and their fists met in a friendly expression of brotherly fondness.

“Bye Mikey.” He told himself, and they hugged. He didn’t want to let go. In the end, Raph tugged them apart, eyes sparkling.

“Here’s looking at you, kid.” He told Mikey, voice gruff, like he could read his freakin’ mind. Mikey didn’t realize what he was pulling him close for until they were kissing, and then it was too nice to pull away. It was kind of cool, having a Raphael he could loom over. He kissed years of want into him. It was the new best moment of his life.

Heard Raphael make some sound beside him, just as they separated.

Best moment, _yet_.

___

Man. He was gonna miss those guys.

___

_1987_

“I’m gonna miss those guys.” Mikey, _his_ Mikey said, back to Mikey now that it was just them. Sitting around the couch, watching April report the news. Four turtles per couch, how it should be.

“Yeah, I don’t know.” Donnie said. “Donatello was kind of a know-it-all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Who ya gonna call? [Pizza delivery!](http://honeyedlion.tumblr.com/)


End file.
